Thursday, May 11, 2017

Memorize the Moments

May 1, 2017

This day 43 years ago I became a mother for the first time.  I can barely stand to think back over the years I've spent growing up with my son. It's frightening how fast it all went and I have loved every step along the way.  So many moments I wish I could go back and live again.  Not to do over, though I made plenty of mistakes.  Just to go back and feel the joy of every moment watching him grow up.   I feel the same about the rest of my children: a daughter, then another son, then another daughter.  I was so busy worrying about so many things and just trying to keep it all together, I didn't take time to stop and memorize moments.

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On the other end of the spectrum, today is also the 24th anniversary of my mother's death.  She died just shy of her 58th birthday.  I turned 60 this year and my heart grieves that she never made it to the age I am now.  It's like I had guidance from her all the way up until my 58th birthday and now there is a void.  And just like with my children, I would give anything to go back and relive the moments with her and cherish those times more.  But I was so busy with life, I didn't take time to stop and memorize the moments. 

I love the life I had with my parents.  I love that my mom was around to give me advise for as long as she was.  I imagine there is always going to be some regret when looking back, but mostly I feel grateful.  Grateful for my parents and the typical 1960s family we grew up in.  Grateful for my children and the grandchildren they have given me.  And really, just grateful for my life. 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Different but the Same

April 26, 2017

As I sit here at dawn drinking my morning coffee with the back door open, I'm listening to the birds singing their good mornings.  I'm still enjoying the one who is a new song to me -- three descending minor notes with a little trill at the end -- I believe it is a white-throated sparrow, but I haven't been able to spot her yet.  I love waking up this way and as I smile and enjoy the hope of a new day, a lesson comes to mind. 

I am grateful to God the Creator for the great diversity all around us for us to enjoy and learn from.  I reflect on all the different kinds of birds there are, each with its own look, its own way of living and nesting, and each with its own song.  Yet they are all birds, a part of the same species, a part of the same family and there is something to appreciate in each of them. 

So it should be with humans.  We each have our own look, our own way of living, and sing our own songs but still a part of the same human family. But oftentimes, we focus on our differences and when we do that it breeds judgment, competition, jealousy -- all the things that drive us apart.  Maybe we need to be more like the birds who live together in this one world, allowing one another to live their own way.  We need to look more for what we have in common while learning to appreciate the differences without the judgment, competition and jealousy because "they"don't live the same way as "we" do. We need to be more concerned about how we are living our own lives and not worry so much about how others live theirs.